Korean Rules

Korea is a culture that puts great emphasis on politeness and respect towards your elders. I have been here for over a month now, and somehow I still can't quite get the hang of it. I hope they remember that I am a foreigner and forgive me even though I look like a Korean!

Rule 1.1:
Bow. I'm sure you already know that Koreans bow to each other. Sometimes the older teachers wave at me because I am a foreigner and I automatically wave back. Then everyone around me stiffens up and looks shocked. It doesn't matter that they're waving, I have to bow back. It's a constant battle between my instinct and my brain. Fight the waving, bow!

Rule 1.2:
Don't bow to your students. Only bow to people of equal or higher status than you. I made this mistake once or twice. It just feels natural to reciprocate the gesture! The poor child didn't know what to do. No teacher has ever bowed at him before. He looked liek a deer caught in the headlights and just slowly backed away.

Rule 2:
Accept and give everything with 2 hands. You can do this two ways. 1) Both of your hands are holding the object or 2) your left hand is placed under the side of your wrist of your right hand.

Rule 3:
Don't let your elders pour their own drinks. If they pour you a drink, accept it, take the bottle from his hand and pour him a drink.

Rule 4:
Don't pat your elders on the back in ANY situation. It is rude and intended only for children.

Rule 5:
Pretend to gesture somebody over wtih your hand. Chances are, your palm is facing up or to your left as you wag your fingers. Here in Korea, your palm has to face down straight towards the ground. You only gesture with your palm up or to the side to dogs and other animals.

Rule 6:
Don't hug people. You will scare them.

Rule 7:
Don't be surprised if your coworkers (female to female, male to male) holds your hand. They did this to me starting the first day. I have also heard multiple stories of male principals holding male teachers' hands.

Rule 8:
Wait till your elders eat the first bite before you make a move. If you are starving and your elders really like to talk, too bad for you.

Rule 9:
The youngest person at the table (aka me) has to distribute cups, chopsticks, spoons, and napkins to the table once you get there.

Rule 10:
It is acceptable to put up your legs at the dinner table (with your shoe flat on the chair and your knee at boob level). Now I don't know this for sure, but I have seen this so many times at relatively nice restaurants and the younger staff does it at the dinner table during whole faculty dinners.

Rule 11:
It is perfectly acceptable and good manners to eat out of the same bowl/plate using your own spoon/chopsticks.

Rule 12:
Accept soju. It doesn't matter that you can't drink. Just take it and drink slowly.

Rule 13:
When you give gifts, make sure you hand them out in the same order as the hierarchy. Principal first, then VP, then teachers. It is common to bring gifts to your coworkers for absolutely every darn occasion.


I got inspiration to write this blog post becuase I just went to dinner wtih the Vice-Principal and 2 head teachers of my school. Nobody else. My coteachers were not invited. They were all high-ranking staff members and spoke minimal english. The food was delicious and my VP treated me, but I was so nervous! Either way, I asked them to please forgive me if I appear rude because I am still learning about their culture. I have no idea if they understood me. Nevertheless, I have never felt more welcomed at a school. This is the third time that staff members have taken me out and treated me for food!